Thursday, January 10, 2008

when I grow up

I just might actually find myself sticking to the "Read More" resolution. Maybe I even set my standards too low - but lower is better because when you find yourself going above and beyond it sure makes you feel good about yourself. Already into book two of the new year, Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love. Really enjoying it.

[I find myself thinking about something Bill Maher said the other night on Letterman - something about how George Bush was boasting about how many books he reads. Bill Maher said, we don't walk around saying, "look at that shoe - I tied it myself, nice job, huh?" The fact that Bush has to annonce how many books he reads in an attempt to prove how smart he is... and, that's exactly what I'm doing here. Yes, a little pathetic.]

So, with the new year and all, I find myself thinking a lot about what I want to do with myself this year. Who/what do I want to be? Doing a lot of soul searching I suppose. Does anyone else do this? I'm always thinking that there must be something I'm not doing that is responsible for keeping me from doing all the things I want to do - if that makes sense. Maybe I should drink more tea and that will give me the antioxidants my body needs to give me more energy for getting things done, for example. Or, maybe I should create a playlist for my day - songs to match the highs and lows of my daily moods. Why can't I get things done???

While soaking my head in the tub this evening (my son has taken to screaming at me, "go soak your head," when I tell him to do something he doesn't want to do), it occurred to me that when I ask myself that question, what do I want to be?, I often flip through pictures of other people in my head. I want to be more like HER. I want to dress like SHE does. I want to live like HE does. And, maybe that's my problem. Maybe, just maybe, while trying to get my act together and get something done, I need to start picturing myself in those previews of the new and improved me. Then, it hit me. This picture:

Don't know how old I am in this picture - but this is who I want to be. Bingo, that's it! This is the way I want to be when I grow up. Barefoot, daisies, leis and sundresses. Happy. Carefree. So that's just what I'm gonna try to do. Live more like this little girl would have.

1 comment:

Josie said...

Yay! I'm glad you like it so far...I had actually bought you the Jessica Seinfeld cookbook, but then ultimately went with Eat, Pray, Love because I was worried the recipes took quite a bit of ingredients (by my standards anyway) that I didn't have, and didn't have as much veggies as I thought they would. Let me know what recipes you find that you think are great!

I can't really articulate what I loved so much about E,P,L. I read it for the first time on a trip to Hawaii and was so taken aback. I've since read it a second time in an effort to better absorb/retain some of the moving epiphanies I appreciated. Let me know what you think when you finish it!